People want to de-gender children’s fast food toys. Stop. Just….stop.

I read an article today that there’s a growing movement to stop differentiating between girls and boys Happy Meal toys, that all toys should be gender neutral. Who cares if you get a My Little Pony or a Power Ranger?

You know who cares? 8 year old Krunchy.

If I got a fucking My Little Pony toy I would’ve been LIVID. Not that it’s specifically a girl or boy toy, but I didn’t like it.

So here is an easy solution. Just give two choices for toys (as they currently do) and don’t call them boy or girl toys. Problem solved, everyone wins, and the kid gets what they want.

If you’re so worked up about toys being gendered, when your kid can still get whatever one they fucking want, then shit you must have a pretty amazing life. Way bigger fish to fry in this world (like the real struggles and treatment of LGBTQ people in society).

It’s a free toy, get over it.

Iconic “I amsterdam” sign removed for being to ego centric….

Along with bikes along the canal and the red light district, the “I amsterdam” sign is one of the most iconic photo spots in the Dutch capital.

However, tourists keen to get a selfie with the sign may be disappointed — the letters outside the Rijksmuseum in Museum Square have been removed.

The sign was apparently deconstructed because the square was becoming overcrowded, and due to fear that it’s become a symbol of “mindless mass tourism” and is “too individualistic.”

So this is what we’ve come to. 

Shame. Sad. Who the fuck cares if people want to buy tourists and take stupid selfies? They are coming to the city and spending money. I get you want people to respect the history and culture and not just a little art piece, but to call it “individualistic” is just wrong. How can it be individualistic when EVERYONE takes a picture in front of it. That’s the EXACT OPPOSITE OF BEING AN INDIVIDUAL. THAT’S A HIVE MIND.

Gimme a break.

I live in a historical, tourist town and we have something that people take photos of and with that is a complete tourist trap and frankly a historical lie. Do you see us complaining? No. I don’t give a fuck. Go ahead and spend money so my town can afford to fix the fucking roads.

And honestly, what’s wrong with a little individualism? 

Boo, Amsterdam, boo!

Who the fuck names their kid Abcde?

I saw a story today that Southwest airlines had to apologize because a gate agent was making fun of a young kids name within earshot if her and her mom.

For shame!

Wait. What was that kid’s name? Abcde? Are you fucking serious?

Yes, Abcde. Pronounced AB-city. You fucking go airport gate agent! That’s the dumbest name I’ve ever heard. Lady, your kid needs to get used to it. She’s going to be shit on her whole life. Probably end up in porn since no one wants to hire Abcde.

Funky names are okay… Sometimes. But that’s just not even a fucking name, it’s like 12% of the alphabet. As a parent, you’ve gotta accept that your kid is going to be made fun of if their name is just outlandish. Maybe call them something a tad more like AN ACTUAL NAME. I give a ton of leeway, but that’s just letters. Shit, it would’ve been better to call the kid Abcity. At least that looks pronounceable. 

Poor kid is going to be pissed later in life. Better get that name change paperwork started!

Leave Buffy alone!

So I saw an article online today about a Sarah Michelle Gellar Instagram post of a picture of her back in Maxim magazine with the caption “I’m just going to put these up all over my house as a reminder not to overeat on Thursday #thanksgivingprep”. Apparently, this has pissed people off.


Some people are claiming she’s fat shaming or promoting diet culture. Uhh what? So is being on a diet and being healthy and drop dead gorgeous a problem? Maybe hit the fucking gym if you have no confidence in yourself, fatty. Is this really what we as a culture are about now? If she wants to post that, who gives a shit? You don’t HAVE to go on a diet. You don’t HAVE to want to be in shape. It’s not like she’s saying LOL LET’S ALL GET EATING DISORDERS. She’s using a stupid hot picture of herself to motivate.

Get over yourselves. Let her do whatever she wants, it’s her body, she’s attractive, and fuck you. Eat as little or as much as you want on Thanksgiving. Be as fat or as in shape as you want. Don’t get pissed at other people for celebrating their bodies just because you’re not comfortable and you’ve got problems. That’s a you thing, not a Sarah Michelle Gellar problem. 

Why the fuck shouldn’t young women be motivated to fit and healthy? EVERYONE SHOULD BE MOTIVATED TO BE FIT AND HEALTHY! Love your body no matter what shape or size, but it is scientifically proven that being fat is a detriment to your health. Go get in your safe space if this triggers you, Jesus fucking Christ. 

Writers note for people that think I’m shaming… Shut up. I have and still continue to struggle with weight. I go to the gym 4 times a week and try to maintain a healthy lifestyle but I’ve still got some chub. You don’t see me claiming “WAAAHH ALL THESE CELEBRITIES MAKE ME FEEL FAT AND UGLY”. Have some accountability for your lifestyle choices. 

How to not be an inconsiderate, douchebag neighbor.

A little background for you people, I live in a duplex townhouse hybrid thing with two roommates. It’s a decent little spot and the rent is fantastic for the location and living space. We are attached to my neighbors and the other side is a mirror image of ours. There’s a nice wrap around front porch (the OG DOAP porch) and we stay to our own sides.

Now, we don’t normally hear each other or generally are even aware of one another. Just how I like it. But like most red blooded Americans, we’ve had our neighborly disputes. I’ll give you a quick rundown…

Continue reading “How to not be an inconsiderate, douchebag neighbor.”

Fuck Flying

Why the fuck can’t I bring an unopened bottle of water through airport security? I didn’t know Poland Springs caused a massive National Security issue. Perfectly good water bottle gone! Fuck mother Earth cause that’s just wasted plastic.

And who is the ASSHOLE that designed seating in airplanes. I’m 6’2″ and my god damned knees always hit the seat. I guess it could be worse, I could be flying Spirit. I know what you’re thinking, “Why don’t you just fly first class? And man this is the second blog about flying this week, don’t you have anything better to write about?” Well, reader, no I fucking don’t because I’m in this flying sardine can with my free hour of in-flight shitty wi-fi from T-Mobile (which is sweet, when it works) and I can’t stream a damned thing. So I take to the blogs, sue me. My company won’t spring for first class, so Fuck Me.

To put the cherry on top of this sundae, it’s turbulent as a motherfucker in these skies tonight. If I don’t make it Monti can have my stuff I guess.

Can’t wait to be back in good ol’ Beantown, playing some Red Dead.

Another day, another mass shooting. What is wrong with people?

Look, I generally try to keep things light and fun on this blog. Sure we poke a little fun at politics sometimes, but we mostly talk about sports and shitty pop culture. Last night another evil, murderous act was committed by a sick piece of garbage. 12 people were gunned down in cold blood in a college bar in Thousand Oaks, California, including a hero deputy sheriff with 29 years on the force. 

This is just sickening at this point. When does it end? Every dammed year there is some depraved fuck that decides instead of blowing his own brains out and saving everyone the trouble, that they are going to take their misguided hate for the world on innocent people. It’s cowardly, pathetic, and it makes the shooter look like a little bitch. Either get yourself help for your mental health issues, or just hurt yourself. Don’t take it out on innocent people because you don’t know how to cope.

Continue reading “Another day, another mass shooting. What is wrong with people?”

Does the TSA actually do anything?

So I’m flying today for a business trip and of course that means a nice date with the TSA. It’s a Sunday morning, so the airport isn’t packed. Lines aren’t too long thank the sweet lord.

My only complaint, along with 99.9% of all travelers, is the TSA. Look I get it, we need security, but these cats don’t look like they give two fucks shit about anything. Come on, why do I need to take my shoes off and pull my laptops out of my bag and put them in a separate bin. Isn’t that what x-ray is for? 

Continue reading “Does the TSA actually do anything?”

The Craziest Baptism You Will Ever See!

Okay, someone tell me how this is effective. I guess some shaken baby syndrome is a good way to get closer to God, literally speaking.

This kid is getting RAGDOLLED by this priest. Need to know more. Is this in the States? Is this priest trying to increase this baby’s pliability a-la TB12 Method?

These are questions we need answers to.

If that’s my kid this priest is catching hands. Fact. See how he likes being ragdolled after a solid right hand.


Chain Restaurants Suck

Last night was date night, so myself and the lady decide we’re going to go out to eat. Simple. Plus the benefit is she owed me one, so Krunchy didn’t have to pay. Score one for equality, ladies.

Normally, I avoid chain restaurants like the plague. The food sucks, the service sucks, the atmosphere sucks, and usually the kitchen is dirty and has nasty people cooking (reheating) the food.

Continue reading “Chain Restaurants Suck”