Red Dead Redemption-aholic Anonymous Support Group

Welcome friends! My name is Krunchy and I am a RDR-aholic. Thanks for being here tonight. This is a safe place. There’s no Cattleman’s revolvers, no semi-automatic shotguns, and you are all good boahs.

Tonight we’re going to address just how fucking good RDR 2 is and how you can overcome this addiction.

Just kidding, you can’t.

If you’re anything like me, you think all day about how you can’t wait to get home and fire up the old gaming machine and take a journey to the old West. Maybe you’re on your first playthrough, maybe your second. You could be evil, you could be good, or even morally gray. It’s all signs of addiction friends, and we’re here to help. 

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When will Lena Dunham boycott Super Bowl commercials?

Amy Schumer is boycotting being in Super Bowl commercials to stand with Colin Kaepernick. What a fucking Patriot! Truly one of the greatest Americans of our time. I’m sure she had dozens, if not hundreds of products lining up looking for her endorsement and that sweet Schumer bump.

But, where is Lena Dunham in all this? Lena is usually a real stand-up gal. From standing up to Odell Beckham Jr.’s rampant sexism. To being a champion for women’s sexuality. She truly is the American moral compass we need in these dark times, much like Amy Schumer. 

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What would you do with the MegaMillions?

With no jackpot winner in Friday night’s drawing, the jackpot for the next drawing on Tuesday, Oct. 23 carries an estimated annuity value of $1.6 billion – a new world record. The estimated cash option is nearly $905 million.

So the MegaMillions is up to $1.6 Billion. BILLION. That is just a stupid amount of money. I can’t even fathom winning that lottery, but it’s fun to dream. So, what would you do if you won the MegaMillions?

First thing I would do is rub one out. Gotta get that post-nut clarity that every dude in the world knows about. Ladies, just trust me, we think better after a good nut.

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ALERT: Russia is trying to hack DOAP!

Lol no user is named dudesonaporch, stupid Russians

Well, well, well, it’s our old buddy Russia….. Here they are trying to get into DOAP. They must know how incredibly influential we are. A little election meddling propaganda perhaps?

Well, they’ve clearly failed because Wordfence has our back. Just bombarding DOAP with their lame attempts to gain control. Listen, Russia, we’re not Trump we don’t fuck with you. Go back to telling little Donnie what to do and stop trying to get into DOAP. It’s not going to happen. Sheesh.

We’re by America for America… and not that Russian brand of America that the Trumpster is pushing. This is REAL AMERICA.

Lol @monti and his completely legitimate two failed logins.

Burger King’s “Nightmare King” allegedly causes nightmares.

And Burger King is actually claiming that the Halloween sandwich will induce nightmares, having tested it with 100 people over ten nights. The study revealed a 3.5 time increase in nightmares.

It’s the combination of protein and cheese that leads to vivid dreams, according to Dr Jose Gabriel Medina, a somnologist and the study’s lead doctor, according to an online release Wednesday. People’s Rapid Eye Movement (REM) cycles were interrupted, a time when most people dream.

Can someone please explain how a fast food meat orgy on a disgusting green bun looks appetizing? Not to mention it could basically bring Freddy Krueger to your dreams.

Who at BK thought this was a good idea? Sure capitalize on Halloween I guess, but it’s food. It doesn’t need to have a theme. Just fork over your $6.50 and cram it down your gullet fatty. 

The only nightmare I’d have after eating this monstrosity is whether or not I’d shit my pants in the middle of the night. Nothing says bed time quite like sneaky diarrhea. 

And really, you’re supposed to eat this before bed? Come on BK, why don’t we end the charade and just give people a tub of lard to keep on their nightstand. A warm glass of milk is old school, the new millennial needs a Nightmare King to get to sleep. 

The real nightmare is that people still eat Burger King.

People bricking PlayStations with a single sent message. This is 2018.

So apparently PlayStations can get bricked by a single message from a stranger containing weird text? You fucking kidding me Sony?

How do you let an exploit like that happen? Now some spoiled little douche 15 year old can really revenge after I whoop that ass in Madden. Great work. Top quality.

That’s all I really want in my life. Some piece of shit telling me how he fucked my mom and then breaking my $400 video game system with a single message. Good way for a Mad Max society to start. 

Set your messages to private, people! Don’t let these weenies take you down. 

Red Dead Redemption 2 Hype a.k.a. You won’t see me for weeks

Listen, if you never played the original Red Dead Redemption you need to get the fuck off this shitty blog and fire up the old video game machine and get to it. RDR is an absolute classic and still holds up 8 years later. 

If you have played RDR, read ahead…..

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